Posted by
The Old Sailor on Friday, December 05, 2008 7:45:16 PM
WILL OBAMA CHANGE THE FLATULENCE FLOW
It is noted that Barack Hussein Obama carried the greater portion of Environmental Protection ballot enthusiasts aglow with idyllic expectations. One aspect of this swell of euphoria included PETA partners and Vegetarians in the war on greenhouse gasses produced by farm animals. The US Supreme Court agreed that gasses emitting from pigs and cattle, yet strangely omitting all other four-legged American mammals, was a menace in 2007. A federal move to charge farmers and ranchers per animal is on its way. Belching, gastric flatulence, and its solid products produce methane, offending those, even as far away as New York City, San Francisco, and of course, Washington D.C.
As President Obama rewards all those that focused on that high point in the sky that he viewed, and the Entertainment Industry photographed, (formally the Journalism Industry), will he include the snifter.
Will this be the Presidents first Executive Order for Pelosi to legislate, and the Senate to follow? Will other US Treasury income producing fee-edicts follow this natural gas trend? Rabbit and poultry farmers are at risk as well. Using this geometric progression, or should we say gastroenterology progression, would beer companies or their distributors qualify as suspects to gasification of the Earth? Consider just those human mammals drinking beer at the Super Bowl giving cheer at both ends. Will taxing end it all?
When living things that produce methane gas are investigated and listed by their volume of production, the humble termite becomes the honorable leader. Vast ranges of the Earth’s forests contain these little vegetarian farts, devouring vegetation and emitting the greatest production of methane than all other four-legged mammals combined.
These little SUV’s were around, possibly farting Earth’s way to the 100,000 year cycle of measured Global Warming. On the other hand, was it the path of the Earth, changing from elliptical to a more circular path around the Sun that caused the measured warming?
I suspect it will become the Fourth Estate’s job to investigate and expose the dangerous gas emitting from Washington DC in the next four years, should the ‘Press’ ever appear once again as our… last saving resort.